Mansions, “The Constant.”
I finally realized that this song is about Desmond and Penny from Lost literally last night.
at the French Open, 06/06.
This picture is my soul. MY SOUL.
Whatever, cranky French people. If you are not using this moment of glory to bond with such CLEARLY DELIGHTFUL PEOPLE, I do not even know what to say to you.
put your hands up.
Remember ladies, it doesn’t matter where (or when!) you live: whatever you are, it’s wrong. Everything that is natural and unique about your appearance is disgusting, and since being attractive should be your foremost goal, you need to buy this product, and this one, and this one, in order to transform yourself into a buffed, polished android so you can be considered sexy (but not too sexy! You don’t want to seem like you’re trying to attract attention! That’s pathetic, and besides, it might make people think you’re happy with your body and enjoy sex, like some stuck-up slut! Yeah, I know it’s kind of unfair, but that’s what you get for not being effortlessly gorgeous).
Should you fail despite these efforts, kindly shut yourself away from the rest of the world. If you insist you have other things to offer, like skills, ideas, and drive, well, okay, but be prepared for ridicule. You put yourself out there, like you deserve to exist or something, so you better not complain about how you’re treated!
Just remember: you will never be more than your appearance to the most important part of the population: the lowest common denominator.
The Media, who welcome our new Maxim and Cosmo-reading, Fox News-watching, YouTube-commenting overlords.
This letter was brought to you by Theresa’s disgust with how nothing has changed.